My Circus

Some are part of your life by birth and some are chosen by you. Your family. I've been blessed with a small one, but the beauty in watching it grow is quite amazing.

Being born into a Nepali family, in Singapore. We were very closed in by the concept of, it's us 5 against the world. My father and mother came from a below working class family, in Nepal. My mother was from a family of 7 brothers and her being the only daughter. While my father grew up in a house of him, his father and his sister. My grandmother, passed away, few months after his birth. Leaving, my aunt to raise him at the age of 13.

The idea of family, was always fascinating for me, as the youngest of two elder siblings. My perspective of life has come with observing the older member of my family, With grandparents who passed away before I was born, I didn't grow up having elder family member in my life. Plus living abroad, brought with it, a mixture of confusions in the whole concept of culture, race, nationality and heritage.

From my father's side, everyone had passed away, leaving pretty much, no one. Where as for my mother's, she had a older brother, two younger brothers and their family, who lived in Nepal. That was it, pretty much the family tree and member's, I grew up with. Like I said "a small one".

Because of the shortage in people and informations. My curiosity about my ancestors had and is still a burning question within me till this day. The wish to learn about them, how they were, what did they do, what did they look like? were few of the many questions, I used to ask my parents about their parents. I still remember the feeling of sadness, when I found out about how my father used to draw a picture of his mother out of his imagination as he wished to know, what she looked like, and the emotional story of my mother's experience of losing a younger brother at a young age.

Even my parents noticed, how different my interest was compare to my sibling. But again, as a young nepali girl, who only knew of the country, Singapore and it's people. While was told she was not a Singaporean, yet was plaguing to it's flag everyday at school, would be bound to be curious to know what her situation was.

Because, we weren't a big family, my parents were always low key in their ways. We didn't have huge family events to attend to and little to no family drama's as members were pretty limited. Which made them teach us the value in how, families aren't only formed by blood but the families of friendship and values are sometimes

stronger. My family tree has the biggest presence of another family. Our fathers, were friends and colleague. While our families were and are still families, till this days.

10 years, 4 son in law and 6 grand children later

We aren't related by blood but the bond is no less. We have shared great life journey's with each other. Our grandfathers were friends, our fathers shared half their life together, we shared all our life together and now, were watching the 4th generation create memories with each other. The family bonded by love.

Friend are the other bond of a chosen family. No matter the duration of the time you've know that person, sometime a bond can be made so strong, after just one meeting, the amount of souls and people, I've been bless to have had shared memories with, is something I feel so grateful for, making the little journey of life, just so much more beautiful because of those relationship.

From a curious and confused little nepali girl growing up in Singapore, to a more confused Britisher teen with philosophical thoughts and now a young women with a strong perspective of life, the journey has given me different families to lay my head on, in different times of needs.

From having my parents there, as a curious early soul, with thriving questions in my mind, which needed answers too or my sister and brother, as inspiration to aspire to be like, as a young child. To having that family by love, who has been part of each other's life for generations before and many more to come. And these family, who you share crazy times of wild memories, of getting wasted, waking up all night talking about everything possible, to having them there to lay your head on their shoulders, while you cry your ass off, over a boy.

Just like the animals in a circus, Family, they come in different shapes and sizes, while performing the best act, at the right time, in the show called 'Your life'.

My family, My circus.