LNT- sometimes iT's nice to let it go

Mood swings that comes on that day of the month, sensitive to the max, passionate being born in november with a rising scorpio, a young and strong women with flowing feeling, can only lead too. late nights/early mornings like this.

We as beings, as I've got to understand us and myself more are nothing but a moving objects with endless and various types of feelings. A body that is just here to experience this buffet of emotions that gets created within us as we face numerous situations and obstacles in life. Maybe why, the memories that stick with us are normally related to the memories that created the strongest stain on your souls.

Whether if its happiness or sadness. They all bring an element of depth to us and sometime it can bring, clarity, understanding or for me today calmness.

Day to day lifestyle, jobs, routines and feelings. The mind, body and soul can carry a little more than just us. With the mind thinking both the issues in the world, work, home, love ones and yourself. Build ups of thoughts and emotions feels like a heavy weight that isn't felt until the body feels unbearably heavy that it need to get out. How? what? why? Am I feeling sad. What is this feeling that's just suddenly being brought upon me.

My mind never stops, it's always thinking from my life, to the future to the things I need to do, the things I've done, the way I feel to the way people feel and detailed analysation of the way they reacted and their meaning. It always on overdrive, but today with added hormonal power, I was on full power. The wandering lead to self analysation, pass analysation, love and life analysation, emotional memories raised and with that pass love emotions and dilemma revived.

Loved and lost is a common felt emotions. You fall in love and things doesn't work out so you move on to other things with the acceptance of the equation you shared. But loved, never got and lost is a little of a harder felt emotions. It's hard to explain and the need to explain what I had, makes it even harder. But the emotions felt always finds its way to give me the definition of what it was. Maybe it was only me or maybe, just maybe, we both were on the same page but never confessed. As I was laying in my bed unaware of the emotion that was gonna hit me. The sudden remembrance of "That Love" comes and with it this sadness that got me bawling.

It weird to be attached to someone who honestly was never mine. But who really can be yours. Humans aren't objects that we own. Even your husband and wife, who are the closest example of ownership of beings, are never truly owned. So after a long session of eye bawling and eyes drying. The loneliness that surrounded me which started the tears, brought me a calmness afterwards.

We are emotional beings, who are experiencing different kind of emotions every second. Why do you think, we enjoy watching movies so much, It's a way to experience the emotions of a life so different from ours. Why nights like this where the trigger might have been an old lost love for me but really was for the need to clean my baggage of unaware emotions that were being carried by me. That now seems to have gone. So sometime the need to play old sad songs and curl up in your bed and letting it go, can be more helpful than a therapist.